i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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