I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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