I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
