i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
