her vagine was all disorganized.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
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Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize