it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
