Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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