Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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