I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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