Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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