how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
