lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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