mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
