I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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