I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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