just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize