found the other keg... it's in the tree
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
