Someone shit on the floor
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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