shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Randomize
