just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
