hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
