Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.