i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?