i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
