he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
