i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
