Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
