I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
