If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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