so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
