we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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