I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
