you traded sex for a burrito?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
