Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
