you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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