Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
