there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
i believe in u and ur pee
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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