All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize