is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
