Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
