yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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