all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Randomize
