I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
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