Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
