eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
