Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
