i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
sex in a hospital.. check
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
