so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
