i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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