The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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