anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
