I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize
