dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
