I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Randomize
