I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
