So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
