I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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