You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
i now understand why vodka
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
