I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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