Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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