Slut skills are useful in every country.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
