Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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