I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
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His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
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Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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