No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
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